courage

"be strong and courageous. do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your god goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
deuteronomy 31:5-7

what is courage? how do we know we have it? where does it come from? courage, the ability to stand when there seems like there is nothing to stand on. courage, the ability to step forward in the face of adversity. courage, the ability to do the right thing even when it is hard. courage, the ability to ask for help when all feels lost. courage, the ability to trust what you cannot see. courage, the ability to put strength into action. courage, the ability to have faith when all seems lost.

everyone has courage, it just has to be found. Sometimes there is a breaking point where you have no option, but to find that and stand up.

i feel like we all have this internal compartment where courage is kept and sometimes it stays hidden, other times it comes out full force and can catch us off guard.

stand up! fight for what is right, fight for those who need you, fight until you cannot fight anymore.

courage comes from a place that is greater than us. it is a characteristic that is given to those who truly trust in the salvation that comes from jesus. there is no way to stand tall, if your foundation is made of quicksand. if your foundation is jesus, then courage does follow. it is not always going to be easy, but it will be honored. take courage and stand with those who need you. know that you will never stand alone.

memories

memories are ingrained in our minds. sometimes they are images that are easy to recall and other times, we may need a little help to retrieve them. none-the-less they are there, some are good, some are bad and some are just memories that no longer provoke any emotion at all.

as i look over my life, in my mind and through my photos, i realize that i have done a lot and experienced many things. i have made some mistakes, but i have learned from them and would not ever trade those mistakes. learning from the past is always a good thing. the past certainly molds us into the people we are today, but it does not define us. sometimes, we get caught us in our past and it makes it difficult to move on, but we/i have to remember that the past is a part of me, but it is not me.

looking back on all that i have seen and done makes me smile. i have had a great deal of friends, some i still keep in contact with and others have moved on with their lives and we have gone separate ways. i have given my heart to a few only to take it back or have it returned to me in the end. i have met many great people, some who will remember me and some who forgot the moment they turned away. i have seen the world, not all of it, but a lot of it, some places i will return and other places will just remain a past thought. i have seen the sun rise and set and each time, it is a special gift from god.

it is interested how memories affect people. sometimes an old thought can make you laugh out loud or burst into tears. but as time moves on, memories become harder to recall and do not provoke as much emotion. things that made you laugh out loud just make you smile a little and those things that made you cry just down cast your heart for a brief moment. if memories are not recalled frequently, you stand a chance of loosing them forever. so take a picture, write down a thought, reflect on your life often, do not loose part of your life to time.

the way we were
Mem'ries,
light the corners of my mind
misty water-colored memories
of the way we were
scattered pictures,
of the smiles we left behind
smiles we gave to one another
for the way we were
can it be that it was all so simple then?
or has time re-written every line?
if we had the chance to do it all again
tell me, would we? Could we?
mem'ries, may be beautiful and yet
what's too painful to remember
we simply choose to forget
so it's the laughter
we will remember
thenever we remember...
the way we were...
the way we were...
~barbara streisand

trust

why is trusting people so hard? i like to think that i trust people until they give me a reason not to, that is always what i have told myself and told other people. i have realized that i do tend to trust people quickly, but only up to a certain point. once we get closer it is harder to trust and that seems like that is so backwards! as you get closer to people, you should trust them more, not less. i hate to confess this, but this is true for all my relationships (romantic or not). the cool part is that the mistrust that comes with a closer relationship usually fades as the relationship progresses. my best friends, i would trust with my life, but it was not always like that. in the beginning i would trust them with deep dark secrets, then there came a time when i would not tell them any of the yucky stuff in my life and now i have come to the other side of it and maybe tell them too much information. why does that happen? does that happen to everyone or just me?

i think i let people in very quickly, i spill my guts and lay it all out there on the line. then i realize what i have just done and retreat. then it is building trust with that person all over again, even when they have not done anything to cause me to question them. maybe i have been burned too many times and that is why i retreat. maybe the initial relationship when i lay it all out there, is not really trust...i think that is the answer.

trust is built over a period of time and requires you to be vulnerable and open about who you are, what you do, when you do it and why you do it. i guess in the beginning of any relationship, you don't really trust that person. it is more like you don't know them and they do not know you, so there is nothing to lose. then you invest time in getting to know another person, you like that person (and i am not talking about romantic relationship, though i think this applies to that too) and you see that you do have to let them in to those darkest places if you want a more meaningful relationship. we need those people in our lives that know us better than we know our selves. but to get to that point, you truly have to trust someone.

i find it interesting that as humans, we trust all the time, just not people. we trust that our alarm clock will go off in the morning and if we don't trust that alarm clock, then we set two or three, trusting that one will go off and we will get up. we trust that a chair will hold us up every time we sit down, more often than not, it does hold us up. we trust that the food we buy in the stores is safe to eat. we trust all the time, but when it comes to trusting another individual, that takes time.

the father has been in a relationship with mankind for our entire existence. why, then is it so hard to trust him? he trusts us. i have come to a place in my life, where i do trust him. i trust that he has my best interests at heart. he is my life line. when i climb that steep wall in front of me, i trust him with my life.

"be strong and courageous.
do not be terrified,
do not be discouraged,
for the lord your god will be with you wherever you go."
~ joshua 1:9

love

love is a word that is used too often and not often enough in this world. sometimes people use it to describe how they feel about everything and i am not sure that those who use the word all the time truly understand what it means, which could be true for those who do not use it enough.

what is love?

who wants love?

how do i love?

what does love mean?

i believe that people desired to be loved no matter who they are or what they are going through. love is something that should be given freely and should expect nothing in return. sometimes it is hard to not expect anything in return, but i think it is attainable. as people, we often fall short of loving freely. often we expect too much from others and tack on conditions to our love. this was not the intention of love. love is self-sacrificing and pure. i use to think that love was something that overcame you and that was a feeling at its purest. i still believe in that kind of...now, i realize that love is also a choice. it is a decision that an individual makes, a commitment to those in your life that mean everything to you.

love is most pure between a parent and a child. you can see it in their smile, in their eyes and in their embrace. love for a parent or a child is unconditional. though there are times in those relationships when frustrations are running high, but in the end, love wins out every time. even if you don't see it at first or have not seen it yet, love will prevail. you have to have hope that it will, otherwise what is the point?

the love of the father is self sacrificing. he gave everything to prove his love for me. he went to the deepest darkest places of the earth to find me and carry me out of the firery pits. there is no limit to his love. can you feel it?

love Song for a savior
someday we'll trust him and learn how to see him
someday he'll call us and we will come running
and fall in his arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"i want to fall in love with you"

as i sit and think of words i can mention
to show my devotion

"i want to fall in love with you"
"my heart beats for you"
~jars of clay

strength

where does strength come from? i have been told throughout different points in my life that i am a strong person. webster's defines strength as "capacity for exertion or endurance; the power to resist force; the power of resisting attack." i think that those are fine definitions, but that definition is not personal enough for me. i think that strength is something that is bestowed upon you, it is something that overwhelms your character at time. strength is found within and not something that is solely defined by brute force. strength comes from this inner place where peace is found. i feel that peace is the precursor to strength. if your soul is not settled, then strength will not emerge. i think you have to come to this place of acceptance and peace in your life to have strength. i know the times that i feel the strongest are those times when i am quiet and still. you need strength to face the day, but we have to be careful that our strength is founded on something and in something that will not be shaken.

often we feel tired, like we have to carry our burdens and we have to be strong on our own accord. we feel like strength emerges from us because of us. this is what the world teaches everyone. you have to be strong, you have to pull yourself out of this, you have to lift yourself up. strength has become all about us, all about the individual. i believe this is false. i believe that when you think you can do it all on your own and when you state you have done it all on your own and that you need no one or nothing else, you are living in a lie. far too often we get caught up in this lie and it will bring you to your knees.

strength does come from an inner place, but that strength is instilled in us by another...strength is taking the plunge even when you are not sure there is anything to catch you if you fall...but you have the hope and peace that something is there you...so the strength comes and you take the plunge...

do you not know?
have you not heard?
the lord is the everlasting god,
the creator of the ends of the earth.
he will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
he gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the lord
will renew their strength,
they will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not grow faint.
~ isaiah 40:28-31

hope

hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul,
and sings the tune--without the words,
and never stops at all,

and sweetest in the gale is heard;
and sore must be the storm
that could abash the little bird
that kept so many warm.

i've heard it in the chillest land,
and on the strangest sea;
yet, never, in extremity,
it ask a crumb of me.

~ emily dickinson

i have to believe in hope, for the well being on of my own soul, i have to believe in hope. hope is something that is instilled in us at a young age. though when we are little, it comes is different forms and means different things, such as, "i hope santa comes this year" or "i hope i get ______ for my birthday." as we get older hope begins to take on a new meaning for most of us. it may come in the form of expectations, it may come in the form of fantasy, but it captures our heart regardless of how it shows itself. for me, i have a hope in humanity. i believe that ultimately people are good and that they want to be good. i think we are born into a world full of evil and the world can bring us down, but if you have hope, you will prevail and hope will overcome evil. hope should be our driving force, one that allows you to see the good in people and to see the good in situations, even when it seems like there is nothing good to be found. hope can be seen in the eyes of small children or in the touch of a loved one. hope is what makes you smile in the morning and it is what allows you to sleep well at night. never underestimate the power of hope.