trust

why is trusting people so hard? i like to think that i trust people until they give me a reason not to, that is always what i have told myself and told other people. i have realized that i do tend to trust people quickly, but only up to a certain point. once we get closer it is harder to trust and that seems like that is so backwards! as you get closer to people, you should trust them more, not less. i hate to confess this, but this is true for all my relationships (romantic or not). the cool part is that the mistrust that comes with a closer relationship usually fades as the relationship progresses. my best friends, i would trust with my life, but it was not always like that. in the beginning i would trust them with deep dark secrets, then there came a time when i would not tell them any of the yucky stuff in my life and now i have come to the other side of it and maybe tell them too much information. why does that happen? does that happen to everyone or just me?

i think i let people in very quickly, i spill my guts and lay it all out there on the line. then i realize what i have just done and retreat. then it is building trust with that person all over again, even when they have not done anything to cause me to question them. maybe i have been burned too many times and that is why i retreat. maybe the initial relationship when i lay it all out there, is not really trust...i think that is the answer.

trust is built over a period of time and requires you to be vulnerable and open about who you are, what you do, when you do it and why you do it. i guess in the beginning of any relationship, you don't really trust that person. it is more like you don't know them and they do not know you, so there is nothing to lose. then you invest time in getting to know another person, you like that person (and i am not talking about romantic relationship, though i think this applies to that too) and you see that you do have to let them in to those darkest places if you want a more meaningful relationship. we need those people in our lives that know us better than we know our selves. but to get to that point, you truly have to trust someone.

i find it interesting that as humans, we trust all the time, just not people. we trust that our alarm clock will go off in the morning and if we don't trust that alarm clock, then we set two or three, trusting that one will go off and we will get up. we trust that a chair will hold us up every time we sit down, more often than not, it does hold us up. we trust that the food we buy in the stores is safe to eat. we trust all the time, but when it comes to trusting another individual, that takes time.

the father has been in a relationship with mankind for our entire existence. why, then is it so hard to trust him? he trusts us. i have come to a place in my life, where i do trust him. i trust that he has my best interests at heart. he is my life line. when i climb that steep wall in front of me, i trust him with my life.

"be strong and courageous.
do not be terrified,
do not be discouraged,
for the lord your god will be with you wherever you go."
~ joshua 1:9